I was in NYC - a city with millions of people and over 100 of my students on a band trip yet I had never felt so alone in my life. After trying to conceive in my previous marriage only to have that marriage end just as we were getting fertility help, I felt myself grieving the child I never had along with my marriage. When I met my current husband, he had already had a vasectomy and 2 children of his own- that left no place for me to be a mother. The deal was sealed when after years upon years of issues I finally developed cancerous cells in my uterus and had a total hysterectomy early that fall in September. I was grieving alone - my husband had his children and as much as he wanted to be there for me, he couldn’t understand what I was feeling. In fact, I had no one in my life that could.

I was lucky to be on this band trip to NYC in the first place because after my hysterectomy, I went septic with a tennis ball size abscess. I was in the hospital, had an awful pelvic drain for 2 months and was on constant antibiotic infusions. As if grief wasn’t enough, I felt punched in the literal gut and isolated from my job for 10 weeks. As part of the trip, we went to see Aladdin on Broadway and when we were leaving I decided I should use the restroom before heading out. In the stall I looked up and saw “Infertility sucks. You are not alone” - I don’t think I’ve ever been so seen! I cried. I remember instantly thinking “what are the chances I pick this stall?” It was the exact dose of comfort I needed. I posted about it on Instagram and found a community of people who do truly understand. All of the stories are unique but the underlying grief is similar.


I am grateful for picking that stall that day and connecting my grief to something greater. This movement gives purpose to my pain and comfort to my struggles. Up to that point in my journey, the greatest support for my infertility I had been given was found on the wall of a bathroom stall on Broadway in NYC.

-Katy, IN

The Band Trip...